January 20th, 2009 - 'the Frame Fucktory'

This letter will focus on the sequence of events that occurred on January 20th and 21st of 2009. I have recalled them accurately and truly to the best of my ability.
The tone of the day was set by the prior day's sporadic level of efficiency. We were in the process of moving the inventory and equipment from the original store front to a temporary location about forty feet down the shopping center strip at the Martin's North Ironwood Plaza. January 20th was a day to regroup and complete the move into the temporary space.

January 20th

9:30 a.m. I arrive at the Frame Factory

9:35 a.m. Mr. Dale is placing matting material into the racking system. Mr.
Dale, my co-worker Adham Halsaver and I were assessing the tasks
for the day and doing some general housekeeping and organizing.
Mr. Dale leaves shortly thereafter to run some errands. He is gone
approximately an hour and forty-five minutes.

9:45 a.m. I am working in the back room cleaning up and organizing the
various materials that are randomly laid about the space. At some
point while doing this, I twist my right ankle and find myself limping
mildly around the back room, but continuing to work. During this
period, Adham and I have been discussing the various challenges and
situations that are arising from the move. This conversation is a
critical assessment of the sporadic level of organization leading up to
and during the moving process and also a realization that the plan and
process are creating an inefficient functional working environment.
Based upon our conversation, the frustration of the previous days
begins to resurface as we continue to discuss these issues. We
discovered the day prior that the new concrete floor has suffered
almost immediate damage, specifically a quarter-inch crack spanning
across the width of the space in the temporary location. We realize
that the work being done by the contractors is faulty. This frustrates
us even more. We are in complete agreement as to the situation that
we are faced with and that Mr. Dale, at this point, appears to be
disinterested in the seriousness of the general situation.

11:20 a.m. Mr. Dale returns. He enters the room where I am working. He stands
for a moment watching me work and begins by asking, “What's happening?” I reply, “Not much, just trying to get things organized.”
He inquires about my limping. I respond shortly, 'It's fine... I'll be
fine.” He becomes more assertive in his tone of questioning. I
attempt to defuse the inquiry because I feel that an argument may
result. I am holding a handful of sticks for framing as he approaches
me and stands directly in front of me when I attempt to cross the
room. In a stern voice, I say to him, “Get out of my way.” He takes
a half step to the side and I half step around him. I cross around Mr.
Dale and over to the other side of the room and put the sticks down
with an slamming motion. A couple of the sticks begin to slide and I
quickly grab them and straighten them upright. Mr. Dale continues
asking me what's wrong. I continue to try and defuse the
conversation until my mood is calmer. Finally, after Mr. Dale's
continued attempts I look at my cell phone clock and say, “You know
what, I'm not going to have this conversation with you right now, I'm
going to go have some lunch and if you're lucky, I'll come back.”
I leave the Frame Factory at approximately 11:30 a.m.

12:00 p.m. I return from lunch and Adham is not to be found. As I walk
in, Mr. Dale enters from the doorway that leads from the next room
back and I cross past him and return to the work I had been doing prior to lunch. I pick up a magazine rack in the back room that I
understood should be in the front room and I pass by Mr. Dale as he
begins to follow behind me about five walking strides and then stops
in the doorway. He resumes asking me what's the matter. Once
again, I am resistant to answer the questions as I begin feeling
frustrated. I am focusing on the task I am doing and not looking at
Mr. Dale. He then states, “I'm talking to you!” My response, “I know, I'm listening and working.” At that moment, he raises his voice
and he states to me as he approaches me, “That's it, I've had it with
the both of you! (i.e. myself and Adham). Give me your key, I'll mail
you your check.” At that point, I look at Mr. Dale, as I hand him my
store key I ask, “Do you have any idea what you're doing?” Based
upon his aggressive tone and movement towards me, I turn and
walk behind the counter at which we are both standing. He remains
on the opposite side of the counter from me. I cross about six feet
away from him as we engage in the heated argument about how, in
his opinion, I'm somehow being 'manipulated' by Adham. I deny the
accusation. I bang my fists on the counter once and say, “No, If
anyone is trying to manipulate me in here, you are!” Mr. Dale
responds, “I don't accept that, I don't see that... no.” I reply, “I'm not
asking you, I'm telling you that is how I and, everyone else in here,
see it.” The argument comes to an end and Mr. Dale walks away, I
cross back towards the end of the counter closest to the door and
stand there for about two minutes stunned as to what has just
transpired. Nothing else is spoken between Mr. Dale and myself
after he walks away even though he does make two entrances and
exits from the store as I stand at the end of the counter. I grab my
belongings and leave the premises. The time is about 12:15 p.m.

January 21st Shortly after leaving the store on the 20th, I realize that I still have a
key to the company work van so I proceed to return it to Mr. Dale
at the Frame Factory the next day.

11:30 a.m. I approach the Frame Factory with the work van key in my hand.
I notice that Mr. Dale is next door talking with another tenant of the
shopping center, Mr. Barany (i.e. Barany's Window World). I open
the door and enter with the key in my right hand extended towards
Mr. Dale. I say, “Here is your van key.” He replies, “Thank you.” I
begin to turn away from him and walk away. He says, “Do you want
to talk about this?” I reply to Mr. Dale as I turn back to him, “Talk
about what?” I then turn and exit the store.

When I filed for my unemployment benefits on January 21st, 2009, via the Department of Workforce Development website, I was asked the reason for my termination. Based upon the options made available from the drop box, I selected 'insubordination' and yet, could not rationalize as it as being appropriate for this particular situation. In my opinion, all of the choices were inappropriate. In order to complete the online form, I had to make a selection. My choice would have been unprofessional management skills and implementation by Mr. Dale.
During my employment of just over nine years with the Frame Factory, Mr. Dale and I had disagreements and discussions. However, he never felt that he needed to have any sort of formal, documented disciplinary action in regard to my performance, behavior or customer service skills. In very rare instances would I exhibit a less than professional demeanor. My sense of humor would often times fuel such behavior. He maintained that my commitment to the business was very high, overall. In fact, Mr. Dale had expressed his appreciation to me on Saturday, January 17th, 2009, with regard to my efforts in helping with the moving and packing of the Frame Factory's equipment and inventory. The only informal review of my performance during my employment took place in February of 2000, three months after I was hired as the assistant manager by Mr. Dale. Mr. Dale will recall that after his review of me, I reviewed him as well. My review was very informal and was introduced in a humorous tone and yet, I did have serious observations and concerns about Mr. Dale's performance. Our reviews of one another were upbeat with the opportunity to make improvements.
It is my opinion that my termination on January 20th, 2009 had less to do with a clear and articulate thought process. In fact, I felt that it was a decision made in a moment of impulsive thought and haste. When we were sensible and rational we could and did discuss specific issues at the Frame Factory and would come to resolutions about how to address them in the future. Adham offered a different perspective that was in line with mine in many ways. However, I felt that the quality and quantity of Mr. Dale's ideas and proposals were declining. Also, on several occasions other employees including myself, would offer a suggestion and Mr. Dale's subtle sarcastic reply was, “Your opinion doesn't really matter.” These statements were disempowering and stifled my ideas and proposals as they were increasingly challenged and marginalized by Mr. Dale. Unfortunately, the communication shortfalls were growing in quantity, resulting in a deteriorating level of mutual respect for one another.
For a time, I was truly in my creative element and felt empowered and passionate about the work I contributed to the Frame Factory. I felt that empowerment was instilled upon me in the early period of my employment at the Frame Factory and in the remaining three to four years was gradually withdrawn as my knowledge and skills continued to develop.
Thank you for your time in this matter.
Respectfully,


Jody O. Thorla

'Prima Donna Theatre'

'Prima Donna Theatre'

Lina: You know, I think I have swine flu. It's not about meeting with the prodution hair designer, which I've arranged for 10:00 AM. tomorrow. (I hope I'm not toxic.) But I don't think I can make rehearsal tonight because of the infective agent. It's the bigger issue of who's running the show. That I have issues with a few casting decisions -- and have the bona fides to back them up -- I went along. My bad. I know that there are the issues of sponsors, donors, time spent etc., that go into things like a community theater. I'm still on the board of a similar company in NY. But the disruptive aspect of the prima donna who now apparently runs rehearsals and every thing else, is too much. Back when I was discussing who was cast, and he said, "Kirstin, of course," I had a reality gulp. Because in all my years of theater, she's the singularly most untalented person I've ever met. There were talented people who could have done Elaine in spades. But there are politics. And because I am a stranger to the local community, I'm sure they entered in. So we're stuck with a lemon. But I will not continue to tolerate her unprofessional attitude and comments, exacerbated by the director's insistence that she's beautiful and sexy (the only things that apparently sink in) and her offensive comments thereof. I expect that the swine flu will continue until there is at least a personal apology for her behavior. I wouldn't have militated for her replacement, except I belatedly found out that the rest of the cast finds her equally offensive. Sincerely, Lina

Lina: Oh, and please feel free to replace me, should my previous e-mail be offensive. One of the values of once having been a professional is knowing that one is not irreplacable. My goal is tempering someone who is running untrammeled in relation to the show, my not knowing why (tell me her husband is funding this, for example), and giving me a justification for dealing with someone so obnoxious, with support of the director, that it would even cause me to leave an Equity production, with money involved.

Lina...

Jody: I have forward this to Craig. It's out of my hands for the moment. I kindly do ask that you put aside these emotions and concerns and please attend this evening's rehearsal. Your presence is very important to the show. Thank you.

Lina: Of course it's out of your hands. But the issue remains the same. And until I have an apology for Kirstin's inappropiate behaviior and incredible narcissism, coupled by the most phenomenal lack of talent that ever put foot on stage, I will continue to have swine flu. Tonight is out. You have alternative resources. I expect that you'll access them. I will, if a replacement is not immediate, continue with my role if that doesn't happen,, I insist a guarantee that the person in question, with whom I'm expected to share a dressing room, be appropriately informed of her limited input -- unless she has expanded powers I was not made aware of, which also affect whether I should be part of this endeavor in this first place.

Oops, the director's calling. So maybe a different outcome. Sincerely, Lina

Jody: Good morning Lina, The director had shared with me that he understood that you were planning to attend last night's rehearsal. You were missed. I hope you're feeling better. Please let us know if you're planning on joining us this evening. Thank you.

Lina: Obviously there is a lack of communication. I'm waiting for a guarantee that little miss lack of talent has been firmly told that the world doesn't revolve around her -- and that if she retains that vision, she has been persuaded to keep it to herself. This is community theater' I would have believed it was driven by a desire to give (in this case) people a chance to laugh, feel, get outside of themselves for a few hours at a low cost. That is why I got involved. I will not participate in what instead is clearly one person's ego vehicle with the rest of us revolving around her. I signed on to do Arsenic, not the Kirstin show. Until it's clear that we're all in sync, I continue to be sick. What a nasty bug!

Lina: Okay, I'm over it. I'll be at rehearsal tonight.

Tales of a Thespian Junkie

Greetings once again. It seems that I forget about this blog (hence, the title of this entry). For anyone who knows me (and never sees or hears from me) I'm a theatre junkie. Not to be confused with a theatre geek. I'm always working on a production but, I don't know the technicals of it (i.e. a true geek, if you will). Still, that is something to aspire to and I will in time. Yes, I'm working to squeeze as much out of community theatre as I can possibly stand. I'm trying to be known as another one of those 'hardest working people in theatre' people so that there will always be something to look forward to while working on the current production. It seems to be working and I couldn't be happier (except for these brief 'downtimes' when that dark and ominous force enters my happy place... reality. DAMN!). Boredom can easily set in by the time I walk to my car after the cast party that follows the strike. Fortunately, I've been getting good at planning and scheduling in advance and even having some options to choose from. As I sit here and think back, it's incredible how the past nine years have just raced by and how I started by working a show doing props and not really knowing exactly what I was doing, to be quite honest, to getting cast applauses, 'Thank You' cards and gifts for doing everything that I have done to help make these productions the great successes that they have been. That appreciation from all directions has been one of the driving forces and the motivation to continue doing as much community theatre as I can do. The other HUGE benefit has been all you you, who I've had the pleasure to work with and become friends over the years. It's been an amazing journey... 2010 will be the best year yet (already at four shows and counting). Better. Stronger. Faster. Peace.

2010: First Contact

I promised to return and I have (just not as quickly as I had intended). The end of the year brought closure to a couple of situations in my life that needed closure. I got up on top of that building where my father's shop used to reside and proceeded to scatter his ashes... he's home, where he really needed to be (and not in my kitchen cabinet in a plastic container). Lisa Andrzejewski, someone I had just met, joined me up there and made a very difficult thing in my life, a little bit easier. I owe her more than she would ever care to know (and yes, Karl made it possible by bringing a ladder... deep sincere kudos to him as well). I love them both for their strength and support and for being friends over the span of this life (old and new). The other was the one year celebration of being liberated from the Frame Factory. I still know that all that transpired since the day I was let go has been the best time of my life. Theatre dominated my world and helped to keep me grounded when others might have gone crazy with the 'all play and no work' that I had been doing. Things are now beginning to turn for the better. Time and space from the past has been very good for me and my view of the world (and yes, made me even more aware of it's weaknesses and it's strengths). I thank my parents for giving me the clear sense and broad shoulders to be able to bear all that has come my way. It's been quite a rocket ride. ZOOM! Peace.

A Year in a Life...

Alot has happened. Dad dies. I become an unemployment statistic (and enjoying every minute of it, thank you very much). Theatre dominates my life. I am well. I am content and at peace with my little world. More to come... stay tuned in... Peace.

Inside Out of Me... Daddy-O's Cancer

I'm in an emotional tug-of-war at the moment. Daddy-O's cancer seems to be winning and he's about to do something that is incredibly stupid at this point (and the doctor's agreed to it). The current, stronger chemo drug he's been taken has been weened out of his system so he can go see a nascar race??? What the FUCK??? Emphasis on the FUCK part of that. In addition to that, the chemo that they want him to resume to do battle with the thumb-sized cancer in his lung, he has decided to not take again. I understand both sides of the situation. He has been fighting cancer for two years now and he is exhausted. Unfortunately, it continues to rear it's cell killing self again and again. The other side is that if he were to continue the fight, he would be completely exhausted and virtually immobilized by 'the treatment'. His world would come crashing down and hence, would remove his single motivation to continue living... his business. *Sigh* I have to re-establish my arms length distance with the situation otherwise, I risk going into my own downward emotional spiral. That simply cannot happen. I can feel for him and I will grieve when that time comes but, he's here and so am I. I am being constantly reminded that I have to live my life to it's fullest. Life in the broad view is very short. I cannot allow his past choices to influence my present and future. Yet, I know he's preparing for that day. Last weekend, the uncle and I had a couple of conversations over dinner and that was my first knowledge of his situation and the inpending question: Will he continue to fight the cancer? I got that answer on friday in so many terms unspoken when he gave me a key to his place that he rents just over the state line in Michigan. It was a 'No', of course. Even so, he's making an incredible mistake in cutting back on the chemo meds now for a far less important purpose. I've developed a keen sense for those 'signs' that most people realize in hindsight... and it sucks (sort of)! The signals are crossing and he's in the crossfire and will ultimately lose by his own conscious choice. As we looked at each other on friday, when he caught my stare, we both nodded our heads. We understand one another better than we care to admit to one another verbally, in who we are and in our bloodline. I hope he does go peacefully when he goes. His time left here has been terribly brutal on his body and mind. I hope that things do not fall on the tenth anniversary of mom's death (april 29th, 2009) but, it could actually happen that way. Tomorrow never knows as always. This is where things will begin going south for him. I am still in awe of the power of those dried tabacco leaf pieces and the paper wrapped around them... the power they have over the human will. Size really does not matter. The cigarette is mightier than the person that puffs away on it and in turn, puffs away the life of that person. Powerful.

Curious...

... something's happening in the undertow... I don't know what it is but it's there and it's coming.